Why I Started Traveling Solo (and Why You Might Want To, Too)

So there you are. Passport in hand, dreams of croissants and cobblestones dancing in your head… and no travel companion in sight. Maybe your partner doesn’t like to travel. Maybe your friends are busy, broke, or just don’t share your passion for buttery carbs and beautifully tiled hotel bathrooms. Or maybe you just woke up one day, looked around, and thought: Why the hell not?

If that sounds familiar, welcome. You’re exactly the kind of person solo travel was made for. And I’m here to tell you: you don’t need a partner, a posse, or a spreadsheet to pull it off. (Okay I do love spreadsheets. But you’ll manage with pen and paper.)

Let me tell you how I went from “no way could I do that alone” to “catch me solo-Zephyrring across the country with my feet up in a sleeper car, thank you very much.” Also, let me show you my ever-evolving hair color over the years. 😄

How a Work Trip Sparked My Solo Travel Journey

My earliest “solo” trips were technically business trips. So yes, I was traveling alone… but only in the airport. Once I arrived, I had meetings and colleagues waiting. It didn’t feel brave, exactly.

That said, I still remember my first solo international flight like it was yesterday, heading from the USA to Ireland for work. I flew business class (shoutout to Apple's corporate budget) and as a mom of two young kids, it was a thing of beauty! Ten hours with no one asking for snacks? No impromptu dance recitals in the bathroom stall? Champagne and a movie? I practically wept.

Of course, the glamour faded slightly on another trip when I flew through what felt like a hurricane on my way home from Houston and swore off flying altogether. But like a good plot twist, the travel bug came back. Stronger. Just like the Six Million Dollar Man, or something.

From Family Travel to My First Solo Trip

I got over my “what if the plane falls out of the sky and my children are 1/2 orphans” anxiety. I didn't want my kids to see me afraid to fly, so I bucked up (with EMDR therapy, check it out). We did all the family travel greatest hits: Disney, Hawaii, fun relatives in Canada, endless camping trips. It was fun, it was messy, I wore Mom-jeans.

Then the kids grew up. I looked around, realized I didn't need to plan trips to amuse others anymore, and decided to take myself to New York City, for no reason other than the fact that I could.

That first four-night solo trip was everything. I didn’t have to compromise on what museums to go to or how long to stay. I could walk or Uber, eat at odd hours, wander into bookstores, or stay in bed watching “Sex and the City” reruns while gazing out at the skyline. That freedom? Absolutely intoxicating.

I realized that with my newfound freedom to travel I was able to fall in love with more places than only my prior true love, London. Since then I have been obsessed with New York City, Rome, and this year Paris is making me goofy eyed.

Lessons From 5 Weeks Alone in NYC: Why Solo Travel Is Worth It

A couple years (and one pandemic) later, I felt the crazy get-outta-town urge again. So in January 2022, I packed my computers (yes, plural), my huge work monitor, my courage, and my California wardrobe, and moved into a Manhattan apartment for five weeks. I could see the Empire State Building down the street each time I exited my apartment door! 

Coming from California I had never experienced living for any amount of time in truly cold weather. I came to understand that days that were below 32° were genuinely “freezing“, beyond anything I'd experienced! When I would check the temperature for the day and see that the temperature was above 32° I knew that would be a piece of cake! It makes me laugh now, back home in California, if it’s 60° outside, I might consider not going out! It’s crazy what you get used to. 

For once I was so happy to have a mask to wear because it kept my nose from freezing off!

But I found my groove. I worked Pacific Time hours, which gave me New York mornings to explore. I met up with an old high school friend. I dined with a cousin’s friend and made more connections through Facebook friends of friends that turned into dinner invitations.

To avoid loneliness, I started doing one daily post to Facebook telling everyone the highlights of the day and showing pictures from anything amusing or interesting for that day. To my shock, Facebook friends who haven’t communicated with me in ages came out of the woodwork, appreciating my daily posts and saying that they looked forward to it each day! It really made me feel like I had all these friends with me and counting on me on my trip. 

I started scheduling FaceTime dinner dates with my pals back home. With AirPods, I could eat solo at a restaurant but still have a friend “at the table” with me. It was genius. The waiters were confused, but I was content.

How Solo Travel Helped Me Learn My Limits

By week four, though, I hit a wall. Eating out alone lost its novelty. My budget was grumbling. And I realized something: five weeks might be a smidge too long for me to be on my own.

Lesson learned.

That’s the thing about solo travel, it’s the best way to find your limits. You get to design your own itinerary, test your own preferences, and build in your own recovery time. No guilt, no pressure.

Every Solo Trip Teaches You Something New

After New York, my next solo adventure was the California Zephyr train from San Francisco to Chicago. I watched the Sierra Nevadas and the Rocky Mountains glide past, journaled in the observation car, and learned the magic of train travel at its slowest and finest. Though I must admit I didn't like the “forced communal dining”… check out the post for the annoying details.

From Chicago, I flew to Washington D.C. and hit every museum and “boring” government building I wanted. When I was tired, I just went back to the hotel and laid on the bed with my feet on the wall like a teenage girl solving heartbreak. Bliss.

On this trip, I was so caught up in doing and seeing things I genuinely was interested in that I hardly even noticed I was alone. Before I tried solo travel, I don’t think I could’ve imagined that was possible. Strange, but true.

My cheesy selfies on the California Zephyr, in the White House, and in a Savannah champagne bar

Because I was already on the East Coast and I was facing ages of time to build up my vacation hours from work again, I figured, why not keep going? Savannah, Georgia was next. A new city. A new solo rhythm. And yes, another absolute love affair with a place.

Why Solo Travel Changed My Life (And Why It Might Change Yours Too)

Solo travel isn’t about being brave every moment. It’s about being open: to freedom, to discomfort, to possibility, and to trusting myself, a grown-ass woman, to be able to handle whatever life presents. (With lots of prep beforehand! I'm not nuts.) I also learned :

• That I don’t need to wait for someone to be on board with my travel dreams.
• That my own company can be delightful, especially when it comes with room service.
• That FaceTime and Facebook can fill in the gaps when loneliness knocks.
• That two to three weeks solo might be my max, and that’s okay.
• That I can fall in love with a city without a single date night involved.

Still Wondering Why Solo Travel? Here’s Your Answer.

First of all, some part of you must want to because you are reading this fabulous blog post 😉

Because you’re not done discovering new places or new sides of yourself.

Because that museum you’ve always wanted to see? It’s still there, waiting.

Because you deserve a trip that’s just for you.

Because one day you might look back and realize that the moment you booked that flight, checked into that hotel, and set out for the day with only your curiosity for company was the start of something amazing.

Not to mention, because you can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan… Sorry, I just lapsed into 1970's American commercial jingles.

If you’ve ever thought, Maybe I should just go, let this be your sign. You don’t need permission. You don’t need a buddy. You just need a spark. And maybe a really great packing list. And your old pal Sue! (thats me)

Got questions about your first solo trip? Drop them in the comments or message me on Instagram, I’m always happy to play travel fairy godmother and cheerleader.

Already traveled solo? I want to hear everything. What city stole your heart? What trick kept you sane at dinner for one? Let’s inspire each other to go again and go farther.

Because the world is wide, and we’re just getting started.